Things start to change... like magic, lonely magic.
I feel the change very deeply. Remembering of my past, alone on the corner of campus hall, smoking a cigarrete for a couple minutes, threw the cigarrete to the rubbish basket, and go to the morning class.
It was the last part of my journey in college. A lot of friends going back to their house, nowhere to go, nobody else to see, alone, alone, and alone.
It was a hard story. Because you're going to read about something very dark from a man who never knew how dangerous the life that he used to live before.
Surrounded by fear. A lot of fears. No family kind of sense, free, and sad.
That was the last period of the fake hospitality when old friends passing by our house and just said 'Hi' to everybody that he used to linger.
The sad song passed you like a sad heart.
Alone, alone, and alone..
Friends look so different than before: when the sun still shining, when the world still noisy, when the campus hall still alive, and when friendship still working.
You need to change. Even if you can't deny how strong love is, you still need to change
Every places that you visit beginning to spread their strange habit: bringing the gray cloud right above our balloning heads.
Now, tomorrow feels like the loneliness, today feels like reality, and the past seems to fade away...
But the pain, keep the sad memories alive in the dead of my fucking lonely heart!
Just in case you don't know:
I still have that feeling.
I hurted something very hard before, unconsciously.
I don't know why, I don't know how.
The songs that remembering me of the hungry feeling,
The songs that remembering me of the vague happiness. Around the friends. The strange bridge that let me pass the last test for the next step.
I walk into the trouble, stranger than fiction
When I wake up, I realize that to kill all the bad memories that was just came into my dream, all you need to do is lie
Lie until you realize, again, that you are still in the bad side of the love...
